Engagement Par-tee!

Yesterday, my folks threw us an amazing engagement party. For those of you who made it to Ripon to join in the celebration, thanks for sharing the day with us!

The morning began early. I woke before 6 am, excited about... what else?... the party. This is really funny to me. My whole life, I've never understood people who enjoy having, for example, birthday parties. I tend to be a little shy when the spotlight is turned on me and am typically just as happy to *not* have a party and opt instead for a movie or dinner with friends. That said, I really got excited about having an engagement party. Why is it different? Why isn't it just another frivilous excuse to congratulate oneself? Dunno ;) Anyway, when I finally realized that I wasn't going to be able to lay still any longer, I removed myself from the bed at 6:13 am in order to allow the other sleeping princess a few more zzzs.

We drove to Ripon in Little Fella (my tiny 2 seat Honda), not really thinking about the fact that we might accumulate some cool loot to haul back to Oakland. We arrived at my parent's house to find gorgeous decorations, LOTS of balloons, party favors, food and drink. My father thinks that proper party planning demands an allotment of at least 5 pieces of chicken per person whether they are vegetarian or not. Hee hee. There was even a cake with an edible picture of us on it! LOL. Whatever objections I'd previously held to having a party thrown in my favor went right out the window:)

It was great to mingle with friends - old and new. I got to meet a couple of Wen's friends for the first time and she met a couple of mine too. We had guests whom I've known for years and others that I'd like to know better - but when all was said and done, I realized that the party was a perfect collection of my favourite people. People who make me smile. People who offer support, laughs and friendship. It was touching to know that everyone drove such a long distance to help us celebrate the next step in our lives together.

My parents continue to shower me with good fortune. I grew up in a rather judgmental, conservative family, where it was never good enough to just be "me". My birth mother, Claudia, and my dad had 5 children and we were all raised alongside Claudia in the Mormon faith. At age 13, I had my first crush on a girl... but in my house, good girls married boys, went to church, had babies and didn't want for anything more. They sang in the choir and tried to get into heaven. I sang scores from Broadway musicals and tried to get tickets to the Madonna concert.

This said, I can't tell you what a huge amount of love I feel for my Dad and Deborah. I may not have felt permission to be "me" in my younger years, but when the rest of my biological family packed up and moved from California to Utah to practice their religion, Gary and Deb held tight to me - and together, they have been the parents I know and love. They have loved me, encouraged me and blessed me with a family support system that I never knew existed before. Afterall, not everyone gets a second chance at getting a kick-ass fairy step-mom unless you're Cinderella.

To stand amongst so many friends in their home, girl (of my dreams) in my arms and champagne in hand... to hear them acknowledge that I've grown into the woman I was meant to be and that they love who I've become... I couldn't be prouder. I didn't realize it until yesterday, but it's what I've waited my whole life to hear. And then there were tears.

Wen and I came home lastnight and opened our gifts. We really didn't expect them, but what great taste ya'll have! The entire day was fun and sweet and it's the stuff that memories are made of. We're aiming to make a lot of wonderful memories together.

Although yesterday was great, we were feeling a little sad lastnight that Wen's family couldn't make it out for the party. To make matters harder, Wen got news early this morning that her dad has fallen ill and was taken to the hospital lastnight. Our thoughts and prayers are with him for a speedy recovery. Please, please send hugs his way! We'll keep you posted on his progress.

Sunshine

To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. - David Viscott

Dilbert Creator Gets Hitched

Scott Adams, who is the Dilbert creator, got married recently. He has this to say about his wedding dance.

Gold Goes With Everything

Tara and I have not abandoned you, dear readers. We've simply been away, doing a bit of Latin Dance at the Gay Games, and winning a Gold medal for it. As one person put it, "Good for you! Gold goes with everything."

This week brings us the following:

*More water damage! New and improved with more leaks and recently-added drainage problems!

*Tracking down everyone who e-mailed be during the time my inbox exploded from spam in my absence.

*Deciding how long it's okay to leave my large suitcase in Fluffy (my Honda Element) before it can be considered 1) part of the vehicle or 2) packed for the next vacation.

*Hunting down (or replacing) my citrus juicer (which I didn't let go at the garage sale, unless I did so accidently) so I can make strawberry lemonade for the party this weekend.

*Deciding what to wear for said party, as Latin Competition Dance Pants from dancepants.com and a sparkling, made-to-order top from Hong Kong have made up the bulk of my "look good" wardrobe as of late. Somehow, however, I sense it's not good to attend one's engagement fete dressed as if one might suddenly break into a cha cha cha, a la a 1950s musical.

State by State...

What's new in Marriage Equality.



California:

The legal war over same-sex marriage in California reaches a new milestone today when lawyers for gay and lesbian couples, religious conservatives, the city of San Francisco and the state will appear before an appellate court for a marathon hearing.

Massachussets:

The same court that made Massachusetts the first state to legalize gay marriage ruled Monday that a proposed constitutional amendment to ban future same-sex marriages can be placed on the ballot, if approved by the Legislature.

I'm not really aware of many rights having been stripped from folks like this before, e.g. did they put in progressive race laws in some states and then say "let's try to get around it another way" and take them away? I'm sure there were such manouevers' it's just that I don't remember hearing much about them. As usual, the intermediate steps are often lost to history...

Shame on you, my home state

Dear home state of New York,

If my 86 year old grandma in Queens thinks I should be able to get married, who are you to say no?

wen


Curious? You'll find the disappointing news here.

Oh, and now there's a push to outlaw "gay marriage" (That term is problemating; it sounds like "coloured water fountain" or something separate and not even remotely equal, or else like it's playing into the "special rights" debate) in Massachussets by going via the legislature to change the state constitution. Alas, MA is the only state to have full-on legal marriage for same-sex couples. I keep thinking "no, wait, this has to get BETTER, not WORSE. How can we be going backwards?"

I know I need to be patient, but it's hard when you are watching your life tick by, knowing you live each and every day without certain rights. But hey, we always have the monkey.

From the article:

Plaintiff Regina Cicchetti said she was "devastated" by the ruling. But the Port Jervis resident said she and her partner of 36 years, Susan Zimmer, would fight on, probably by lobbying the Legislature for a change in the law.

"We haven't given up," she said. "We're in this for the long haul. If we can't get it done for us, we'll get it done for the people behind us."

Training Manual

What Shamu Taught Me About A Happy Marriage