Hello, Internets! Here we are!

The wedding site is LIVE! Woo! After all, what's a 21st century wedding without its own URL? If you'd like to check out our handiwork, please visit Wen and Tara's Excellent Wedding Adventure.

If there's anything funky about it aside from my unique sense of humor, such as egregious misspellings or links that accidently go to the Britney Spears custody case page or The Hair Club for Men, let me know.

Thanks

A local (Marin-based) reverend, Jane Spahr, performed a couple of lesbian marriages three years ago. The church reversed the earlier ruling she was within her right to do so. You know, because, well, a few married lesbians can dismantle an institution that is hundreds of years old. LOL.

I took a moment and wrote her a thank you note for doing what was right and just rather than what was expected. If you want to do the same, you can contact her at info@Spahr.com

The SF Gate story is here.

Aloha, Wedding!

I kept not posting because I wanted to write everything out completely, and to do so in an engaging, witty manner that would rivet both readers.

Alas, this is unlikely to happen, given the nature of Real Life and the things one much do in it in order to, you know, live. Or rather live in a manner that involves clean socks, occassional meals and a few hours of sleep each night.

So, without further ado, I say, "Aloha, Wedding!"

We are planning a November 24 wedding in Hawaii, on the island of Oahu. If that sounds like it's awfully close to Thanksgiving, well, that's because it is. It's the Saturday of Thanksgiving weekend. We are not only thankful to be getting married, but also thankful that our guests will have to take off less time to attend. (This was actually a serious consideration.)

Initially, we had decided upon a fairly big (for us) California wedding. The theme was roughly "Come Eat Good Food and Dance a Lot, Hopefully to a Live Big Band, or at least to a DJ who knows the Top 40 from the 40s." We'd chosen Cocoanut Grove in Santa Cruz (see old posts for links to pics) and just had to set the date and revel in the fact that Big Bands used to play there, and, oh, the ceiling retracts! And the spelling..."Cocoanut"! How quaint!

Then, well, there was the mold sickness. And the rash. Especially the rash.

We re-evaluated and decided that running away together was a good idea. We wanted to go someplace nice, but not so extravagant that our nearest and dearest couldn't join us. I've never been to Hawaii but always meant to go...Tara has been, but not for ages. Add to that the fact that our favorite Cruise Line (Celebrity) had a cruise over, and well, we fell head over uhm, leis, for the idea. Sure, the honeymoon will be first we because we can't really control the ship's movements, but hey, life's short and it's okay to eat dessert first.

We'll be getting married on Oahu. Why? Because that's where the boat (ahem, ship) leaves us.

Wiamanalo Beach:



We originally planned to get hitched on the beach at Waimanalo. Not only is it fun to say, but it is beautiful. AND the officiant (Reverend Captain Howie, who seems to favor sarongs as a fashion statement) involves his big, friendly parrots in the ceremony. It's hard to say what the parrots would do, but really, since it's not legal anyway, they could actually officiate while Howie kicked back with a cold one and it wouldn't make any difference.

We figured my family would be okay with whatever wackiness we thought up--they think of me as the, uh, eclectic one, anyway. Tara's family would be fine (or at least hide it well) and our friends, well, we weren't going to tell them about Howie or the parrots. It was going to be a surprise.

Howie:



As an added bonus, I had a nice chat with Howie's wife, Deva, who used to live in Santa Cruz. If you are having a small (2-12 person) wedding in the dry season, I'd recommend Howie's company. (If you have only 2-6 people they can accommodate you at their house, should it rain.) Plus, you can have an underwater marriage ceremony, and what better to compliment your underwater basket weaving certificate than an underwater marriage one?

However, Tara and I got nervous, not so much about the parrots and what they might say, or Howie and what he might (or might not) wear, but rather that it might rain on us. Alas, a Waimanalo Wedding Experience would not include chairs or shade (in case of sun, which really, is more-or-less the other option if it doesn't rain). So, potentially, our guests could be standing in the rain getting wet and hypothermic or standing in the blazing sun, working towards heat exaustion.

We had more (worries, guests, requirements) than Howie's service was set up for. (We had at least 20 worries and about the same number of invitees, should everyone make it.)

So, plan B was born. Aloha, Haiku Gardens, green inland garden home of 5-7-5. (To those of you who remember Haiku Tuesday, all I can say is that my only regrets are: 1) the wedding invites won't be in Haiku; and 2) It's on a Saturday, not a Tuesday.)

Haiku Gardens:




We'll have our ceremony in the late afternoon, followed by dinner at the onsite restaurant, Haleiwa Joe's. If it rains, there's an open-sided chapel area we can move the ceremony to. And they have chairs. 20 of them. (Weirdly, they don't have more than 20. Just 20.)

The photos we've seen online make the area look nice: rugged and lush with a touch of civility, kind of like us. I merely hope that the pictures aren't cropped to exclude a Mc.Donalds smacked right up against the property line or a wastewater plant looming over the ceremony site. (You know, emptying out into the pond in the photos.) But worst comes to worst, we can offer our guests a supersized container of fries or the shade of a big, surely impressive, building, and make sure we Photoshop all evidence out of the pictures before putting them in an album. (Or, okay, more likely, on Flickr.)

When we get back, we'll plan a celebration in the spring for folks who couldn't make the island ceremony. It'll be a reception of sorts--food, possibly dancing (unless it's outside at a park) and most importantly a chance to share our joy and celebrate with those we care about...

Pimp My Cake?

I give you a very expensive Renaissance Cake, aka Pimp My Cake.

That's a crown on top, in case you were wondering.



Alas, you'd think finding something tasty and tasteful would be easy. Who knew that there were so many cakes I find unpleasant to look at? I am fascinated by the artistry, but less enamoured of the design. I mean, a headless bride cake? This cannot bode well for things to come.



See you at Ren Faire!

Adventures in Weddingland: Little Bunny Foo Foo and My First Ukulele

Alas, Tara and I have been knee deep in wedding planning as of late. All will be revealed here in good time...

Until then, I leave you with proof that one ends up rather punchy after a few hours of trying to find appropriate vows and such. To wit, we now have a new version of the Little Bunny Foo Foo song (as well as an excellent visual. My idea to get these as wedding favors with "Wen and Tara, 2007" stitched on the butt was resoundly--and probably rightfully--rejected).

In case you were wondering, the Bunny Foo Foo Wedding Song goes:

Little bunny foo foo
Hoppin' down the aisle
Pickin' up the bridesmaids
And boppin' them on the head...

And then the Wedding Coordinator came down...
And she said...

Little bunny foo foo
I don't want see you
Pickin' up the bridesmaids
And boppin' them on the head...

I'll give you threeeeeeee chances...

After a few of these chances, he's turned into the centerpiece, saving the bride and bride the cost of yet another flower arrangement. The end.

In other news, Tara is perusing "A list of my favorite ukulele CDs"
Because, really, what's a wedding without some John Denver on ukulele?

Unbelievably, the Rolling Coconuts of Japan, who play Ukulele Mozart? They're not half bad.

And of course, there's something for everyone on that ukulele! To wit:

Dr. Suess Vows

Marty Blase, the author of these vows, writes: "My fiancee and I agreed a long time ago that we wanted to write our own wedding vows, and as a spur-of-the-moment idea, I suggested the following. To my disappointment, she didn't quite go for it..."

Pastor: Will you answer me right now
These questions, as your wedding vow?

Groom: Yes, I will answer right now
Your questions as my wedding vow.

Pastor: Will you take her as your wife?
Will you love her all your life?

Groom: Yes, I take her as my wife,
Yes, I'll love her all my life.

Pastor: Will you have, and also hold
Just as you have at this time told?

Groom: Yes, I will have, and I will hold,
Just as I have at this time told,
Yes, I will love her all my life
As I now take her as my wife.

Pastor: Will you love through good and bad?
Whether you're happy or sad?

Groom: Yes, I'll love through good and bad,
Whether we're happy or sad,
Yes, I will have and I will hold
Just as I have already told,
Yes, I will love her all my life,
Yes, I will take her as my wife!

Pastor: Will you love her if you're rich?
Or if you're poor, and in a ditch?

Groom: Yes, I'll love her if we're rich,
And I will love her in a ditch,
I'll love her through good times and bad,
Whether we are happy or sad,
Yes, I will have, and I will hold
(I could have sworn this has been told!)
I promise to love all my life
This woman, as my lawful wife!

Pastor: Will you love her when you're fit,
And also when you're feeling sick?

Groom: Yes, I'll love her when we're fit,
And when we're hurt, and when we're sick,
And I will love her when we're rich
And I will love her in a ditch
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold
Ten years from now a thousandfold,
Yes, I will love for my whole life
This lovely woman as my wife!

Pastor: Will you love with all your heart?
Will you love till death you part?

Groom: Yes, I'll love with all my heart
From now until death do us part,
And I will love her when we're rich,
And when we're broke and in a ditch,
And when we're fit, and when we're sick,
(Oh, CAN'T we get this finished quick?)
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold,
And if I might now be so bold,
I'll love her my entire life,
Yes, I WILL take her as my wife!

Pastor: Then if you'll take her as your wife,
And if you'll love her all your life,
And if you'll have, and if you'll hold,
From now until the stars grow cold,
And if you'll love through good and bad,
And whether you're happy or sad,
And love in sickness, and in health,
And when you're poor, and when in wealth,
And if you'll love with all your heart,
From now until death do you part,
Yes, if you'll love her through and through,
Please answer with these words:

Pastor and Groom: I DO!

Pastor: You're married now! So kiss the bride,
But please, do keep it dignified.

Name Change Update

I wrote an (amusing-to-me) post about name changes and The Walkoffs. I think I also posted a link to an article about how hard and expensive it is for a same-sex couple to change names, or for the guy in a traditional male-female couple if he wants to take his wife's name.

Here's an update on that: Names, California Style

And the .02 of those from around the Bay Area: Would you take your wife's name?

Practical, inexpensive, reusable & recyclable: The Toilet Paper Dress

Alas, many of you (okay the three of you that read this blog) are probably aware of the shower game that surely has a cute real name but which I always think of as "Time to TP the Bride(s)" in which you make a wedding dress out of TP for the guest of honor.

Here are the winners for the 2006 Toilet Paper Wedding Dress Contest. (2007 is currently open.)

Too bad T. already bought her dress...It's a shame we weren't aware of this ecological and economical alternative! Heck, you could even go organic for a few bucks more. Plus, if people cried at the wedding you could slowly undress (thus saving time when you go to change to leave) as you helped them out with some tissue.