Making Marriage Last

Alas, when I wrote that title, I had the thought that perhaps it could be interpreted as "putting marriage last," i.e. making it last on your list of priorities. As you can probably tell from the rest of this blog, that's not really my point. I thought I'd post this not because I necessarily need it now, but because it's good to have information about what to do to make a strong relationship even better. I haven't read all of Making Marriage Last, but here it is anyway.

I have long been a firm believer in "enrichment" programs for engaged folks, married people, and committed couples who want to celebrate and enjoy what is going RIGHT with their union, as well as learn more skills that can help them reach even deeper and more meaningful levels with their partners. Like a Boy Scout, I believe in being prepared (unlike them, I think it's find for gay people to be Scout leaders) and "stocking up" on good tips and techniques for staving off problems. I think a bit of nurturing and planning goes a long way! Now gimme that Relationship Badge and pass the s'mores...

I've heard of Marriage Enrichment groups, but I wonder how welcome Tara and I would be, should we decide to attend. I also know that Gay and Kathryn Hendricks have seminars meant for couples that aren't necessarily having problems, and I've heard they are GLBT-friendly.

Here's a list from Making Marriage Last:

• Treat your spouse like your best friend or most important colleague.
• Don’t expect to get more from your spouse than you give of yourself.
• Don’t lose your sense of humor; have fun with your spouse.
• Don’t demean your spouse in public or in private.
• Learn to listen, learn to hear.
• Learn to argue respectfully.
• Look for resolution rather than victory.
• Assess your own mistakes and acknowledge them.
• When you apologize, mean it, and sound like it. Be short on blame and long on forgiveness.
• Be willing to change your opinions and attitudes.
• Look at changes in your life as an opportunity to grow.
• Don’t try to change your spouse; accept your spouse “as is.”