Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Married Name

I don't really have to worry about changing my name with marriage, unless I really want to and can think of something that speaks to me (and Tara) as a good last name for 'us.' We each like our last names, so I imagine we will keep them, although we joke about The Walkoffs (a blend of her and my last names), and how it sounds like a cheap department store or part of a law firm (Walkoff, Myers & Bernstein).

We will not be legally married because, well, we can't. So that eliminates the bureaucratic level of the "should one of us change our names" discussion and brings it into the realm of (expensive--$500ish) personal choice. An aside: One of my friends just paid this unseemly amount to slightly change the spelling of her first name legally, to match what she's been using for, oh, years.

I recently stumbled across an article that has some cool implications for equality. This time it's the guys who are getting the raw deal, but the whole system is sexist and set up not to encourage men to change their names.

Women, if you get married, you can change that name for $50-80s. Guys: there's no place on the marriage form (or whatever paperwork you fill out--hard to say because I CAN'T HAVE ANY) for you to do that. I suspect not only would you have to fork out the $500 like my friend, but also endure a lifetime of forms that didn't ask for your "maiden name" (even the terminology is gender-specific; who ever heard of a "bachelor name"?) and then caused undo stress later on, when it looked like you suddenly began existance right around the time you got married...

Interesting stuff.

Did you change your name when you got married?

My sister did although she kept the same initials, which I think is pretty cool, and also probably a lot easier than transitioning halfway across the alphabet.

5 Comments:

Blogger heather said...

dude. that's so weak that married women can change it for less than $100 but otherwise it costs $500. f'in patriarchy!

ok there's my feminist rant for the month. :-p

2:27 PM  
Blogger jana said...

I changed my name, but only because I didn't care for my maiden name (a difficult to spell, clunky germanic name), and I ended up with a lovely, short, and easy to spell French name from my spouse.

FWIW, I legally dropped the maiden name entirely (no maiden/middle name thing), but when I am published anywhere I use my maiden name as a middle name so folks who knew me beforehand can still identify my writing.

6:25 PM  
Blogger keri said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

9:35 AM  
Blogger April Stearns, FRA said...

Hi Wen. Cool blog. :)

I thought you might like this:
http://gender3point0.blogspot.com/2007/01/youll-never-think-of-gay-adoption-same.html

1:10 PM  
Blogger April Stearns, FRA said...

Mmm, that didn't work very well. Try this:

http://gender3point0.blogspot.com

Sunday, Jan. 14 post.

Another blog I read & love that you might enjoy, though very different is:

http://postcardsfromguyville.blogspot.com

1:13 PM  

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