Tuesday, May 23, 2006


Today was an extremely busy day, filled with a multitude of projects to occupy my brain - and yet, every 15 minutes or so I'd think, "Good God, we're actually getting married!" And aside from a couple of tangents I took to briefly contemplate where Wen's stuff is going to fit in our home, I did relatively well in the not-freaking-out department. Mostly, I just sat and smiled. Yes, I still think it's all a good idea and I feel like a very lucky girl ;)

It's sweet to receive congratulations from friends and family - better of course than the alternative had she said "no". It's true that I couldn't conceal my intent from many people. Everyday, someone would ask, "what's new?", and I would spurt, "I'm going to propose to my girlfriend!" It was all a little giddy. Seriously though, to say that *everyone* knew except Wen is slightly inflated. My "closer" circle of friends and my parents knew... and all were cheering me on. Some of my friends don't really know Wen very well yet, but they know that she makes me all mushy and happy and therefore must be a magnificent person.

It's been an interesting road to this point. Wendy and I met about 2 years ago when she was teaching a dance class that I enrolled in. We were both with different girls at the time, this is true. On my end, I was captivated by her almost from the first time I saw her. There was this wonderful strength, silliness, intelligence and vulnerability that I adored and I knew that I'd love to have her as my friend if nothing more. Since that time, we've been through "phases" and while some of those months bring forth some of the happiest memories of my life, others were heartbreaking to us both and we discovered that we could bond even over sorrow. Through it all though, we've made conscious choices to move forward together, to trust, love, learn and grow. I have a deep respect for this girl who will someday be my wife.

That said, I did what any half-sane girl who wants to keep her girl would do: I went ring shopping. For those of you who don't know me (and probably many of you don't), I was once-upon-a-time married before and therefore am somewhat familiar with the whole "ring thing". The difference is that I married a man (the dearest man I know) before my days of sexual enlightenment and therefore did not do the askin', so really, the whole ring purchase was brand new to me.

I am not a big jewelry person. Actually, I love jewelry, I just don't wear a lot of it, nor do I own big pieces. I'm a simple girl in that respect. I know a bit about jewelry, but mostly I like to look at it through thick glass barriers and sigh... ooing and ahhing about it's sparkle and lack of practicality. Who needs a necklace in the shape of snake crafted out of 14 different shades of amber? Nope, not me! Well, I'm a Chiropractor, so that pretty much rules out many rings and most bracelets. But I do love to look at the pretty things! - which, according to my good taste are mostly ultra modern or antique - I seem to sway on both sides of the spectrum. Okay, so there is this jewelry store that I have perused on occasion in Union Square that has a number of sparkly, pretty things... and they have one other store in Las Vegas and one more in Walnut Creek of all places. Walnut Creek is on my way home from work.

I found myself speaking to Wendy on the phone one night on my way home from work while trying to park my car in the shopping district of Walnut Creek. Of course I didn't want to tell her that I had to hang up because I couldn't navigate in traffic while managing my nerves because I was on my way to buy her a ring.

I parked and approached the store to find a short man of foreign decent behind the counter. I looked at the cases for women's rings... and examined too, the men's rings... both were pretty and sparkly. I wasn't sure where to focus my attention. For a brief moment, I imagined Wen, clad in some sort of cathedral-set bling-bling - hee hee - and decided that maybe I should be looking in the men's section. Meanwhile, the man behind the counter, sensing my confusion, decided to approach me.

I explained that I was "considering" proposing marriage and would need a ring. Best not to commit too soon. I was thinking that he might just steer me toward the perfect bauble, but rather, he asked, "what is it you're looking for?"


Well, she is feminine, yet not exclusively and certainly not always most of the time. I want diamonds... but not really a big *diamond*. Do you understand? I shake my head as if to elicit a "sure". To my surprise, however, he really did understand. He helped me select the perfect ring. Mid-width between a man's and woman's band, diamonds for sure - but not a *diamond* - modern, white gold in a full eternity (all the way around!) setting. I looked at many styles, but this one... it was the one. Way to go George! I don't know what kind of employee sensitivity-training that Simayof demands of it's employees, but I'd say that they're really on a roll when it comes to same-sex engagements. Very impressive. Also let me interject that he wrote up a receipt for me and while the ring specifically came from the men's case, he provided a hand written description of "ladies ring, size x, etc... "

I ordered it to be made and waited. It was out of sight, so it must not have hit me for awhile. When the store called for the pick-up though, my heart skipped a beat and I imediately left work on a mission. I got to the store and George - my sweet man who helped me select the perfect token for my girlfriend was not there. In George's place was a woman I'd never seen before. Ahh. But wait... she finds the ring and says, "Oh, I see it's for your girlfriend... she's going to love it! Congratulations!" God, I love the Bay Area.

What do you do with a sparkly ring that you have in your possession for 3+ weeks? Well, sometimes you admire it in the box, but mostly, you put it on and parade around for yourself to see in all it's glory. You imagine what it will look like on a hand that is exactly the same size as yours minus the paint on the fingernails. You hope and pray she will like it. You sweat.

Now that Wendy wears the ring, I have to admit that I miss it just a little. No more midnight fashion shows starring myself. No more glittering diamonds upon the steering wheel of my car, reflecting the filtered light.

Have I said how much I love this woman? :) Thanks to all of you for your congratulations and good wishes. I do believe we'll be very happy.


Blogger heather said...

heh. that was awesome! nice recap of your adventure! and sheesh, are you in the bay area. when min and i were getting flowers for our wedding (in montana), the woman taking our order got soooo flustered when i told her there wasn't going to be a groom. but to her credit she recovered nicely when i said, well, put me as the groom. ;-)

12:11 AM  
Blogger gs said...

There must be something romantic about Walnut Creek. That's where my brother got married, at some park/farm outside the town. It was very beautiful.

2:53 PM  
Blogger keri said...

So romantic! Wen is a lucky grrl!

I hope to meet you someday T!


11:10 AM  

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